OK, but I think there's a line between 10 sessions of 'Let's talk about your rotten tooth' without removing it, and 'Let's pretend your tooth a.) isn't rotten and b.) is making you stronger'. I agree the ultimate goal should be to remove the rotten tooth and not spend ages talking about it and sticking your tongue in the cavity to retraumatize yourself, but in order to remove the rotten tooth we have to acknowledge that it's there, that it hurts and is a problem, and THEN set about removing it. The thing is, toxic mental nonsense isn't as easy to recognise as a rotten tooth. Trauma definitely doesn't make you stronger or add to your life in any way, neither does endlessly talking about it or victimizing yourself with it, but it DOES need to be acknowledged as the problem that it is, and we do need to learn how to soften around it and get intelligent with it BEFORE unpicking it and getting it out. 'Rah rah toughen up' or 'Rah rah let's just get over this' believe me is a mindset all of us get daily from everywhere, we don't need to be advised to follow that line when it's literally everyone's go-to. There's a happy medium, but that happy medium requires great intelligence and skill and it's going to be different for every patient, something your average therapist just isn't skilled enough (or let's face it, incentivised enough, as you point out) to do
I see your point and I think we mostly agree. Ignoring trauma doesn’t help, but neither does getting stuck in it. Trauma itself doesn’t automatically make you stronger, but learning how to move through it does. There’s real research behind post-traumatic growth, and plenty of thinkers—Nietzsche, Jung and others—have talked about how struggle, when processed the right way, can lead to wisdom and resilience.
And while some cultures push the “just get over it” mindset, others push the opposite—an obsession with fragility, victimhood, and avoiding discomfort. Neither extreme leads to real healing. The real issue isn’t whether we acknowledge trauma—it’s that we either get lost in it or avoid dealing with it in a way that leads to actual growth. The key is finding the balance.
I have a personal allergy to the 'trauma makes you stronger' narrative even to the point of arguing that even processing it doesn't - my mantra's always been, I was *already* strong or I probably wasn't getting out of there alive - generally because I think appreciating suffering in any way or attributing anything to it is an undeniable request for more of it! Plus I don't think the people or events which traumatized us deserve any credit whatsoever, let alone for the power and resiliance that is fruit only of our own inherent greatness, and our good choices. But I can sort of get on board with the fact that learning the skills to process trauma...enhances your skills to process things generally, so we can agree there.
I think or at least assume that everyone here knows that trauma implies something that has a lasting impact on your life, for example the events that leave you waking up in a cold sweat for years and severely impact your mental health, functioning, ability to make good choices and even your physical health. And I think *all* suffering has an element of choice to it, even if miniscule; that's the whole reason why trauma can be elaborated and released, by reclaiming and remaking those choices down one pathway instead of another. That element of choice is the locus of the possibility of healing, and it exists in every event and situation, everywhere
Somatic trauma therapist here. No therapist in the US who takes your insurance is profiting off of you. They are lucky if they can make a living. The ones who do have a full caseload of cash pay clients are not getting rich off of their clients unless they are charging some astronomical fee like 500 an hour. Comparing therapists to self help influencers is a false equivalency. The whole Instagram mental health industrial complex is not the same beast as traditional mental health. Both have their issues, but conflating them is useless. Diagnosing is not the same as treating, it is not a label, it does not define a person, and you use diagnoses primarily to make a treatment plan. You revise your plans and goals regularly with your client. You absolutely need your trauma validated in the beginning. Many people who develop PTSD were alone or felt alone when the overwhelming thing happened to them. Many of them don’t believe they should feel the way they feel, or that something is wrong with them. Healing trauma isn’t an intellectual exercise. You need mind body interventions because part of trauma IS chronic nervous system dysregulation and you can’t talk your way out of that. A therapist who “wants to keep you stuck in your trauma” is either incredibly unskilled or a sadist. Your job, as a therapist, is to set treatment goals and meet those goals so the person can move through the world in a way that feels better to them. Your job, as a trauma therapist, is to empower your client to make meaning of their experiences and build strength and resilience. But you are never going to tell someone who suffered chronic sexual abuse as a child that their abuse “made them stronger” or tell them they are “transformed”. Those are not helpful statements and they suggest that perhaps the abuse they suffered was a good thing. Yes, there are some inspirational figures who have overcome incredible pain, oppression and trauma in their lives without any therapy, like the ones named in this article. But for the people who can’t do it on their own, holding up these figure as examples is not helpful and adds to the feeling that there is something “wrong” with them.
I do not like the ways in which social media is shaping how people self diagnose, perseverate on what is “wrong” with themselves or others, throw labels around that they misunderstand and misuse. I don’t think it’s helpful to constantly be consuming one minute reels about attachment disorders, or trauma, or depression - all of which are complex issues that get watered down with zero nuance on social media. But it’s ironic to me that this author is asserting that you don’t need an expert, while arguing that it’s those experts who are trying to keep you trapped in your pain, while using social media as proof of this phenomenon. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to debunk some mental health snippet a client saw on TikTok and tell them why it doesn’t apply to them or why it’s just completely untrue. To me, the culture of “self healing” which is usually headed up by some cult like figure, and Instagram mental health influencing, is far more damaging to people than a therapist who has invested significant time, resources and energy into their profession, and who is held accountable by their peers, their licensing boards, state laws and their clinical supervisors to behave in ethical and safe ways. That doesn’t mean there aren’t shitty therapists - there are. But to assert that the issue is “expertise” that’s forcing people to stay stuck in their trauma is misguided. It’s actually the death of expertise and the rise of simplistic thinking and platitudes that is keeping people stuck. You know. Telling people who are suffering with their mental health to heal, build, create and conquer. That’s like telling someone with a broken leg to just go run a marathon.
I appreciate your perspective and I think we actually agree on more than it might seem at first glance. I completely understand the concern about social media distorting complex mental health issues, leading to misdiagnoses and shallow solutions. That’s a real problem and I respect the work therapists do to help people navigate trauma in ethical and evidence-based ways.
That said, I think the deeper conversation here is about whether institutionalized psychology, as it stands, has systemic blind spots that contribute to people feeling stuck. The idea that some therapists may, consciously or not, reinforce cycles of trauma isn’t an attack on expertise itself—it’s a recognition that any field, no matter how regulated, can develop blind spots when its framework becomes rigid. The fact that people are turning to self-healing movements in large numbers suggests that something is missing from traditional approaches, not just that they’re being misled by influencers.
Also, I think it’s important to question whether expertise in its current form always serves the best interests of the individual. You mentioned that healing isn’t just an intellectual exercise, but if that’s the case, then isn’t it possible that some people might naturally find their own paths to healing without needing an expert to validate it? And if someone does reach a place of strength through self-healing, why dismiss that as potentially harmful rather than seeing it as evidence that alternative approaches have value?
I’m not saying all therapists are keeping people stuck, but I think it’s worth questioning whether the system as a whole has unintentionally created dependencies rather than empowerment. And if so, what can be done to address that?
Speaking from my own experience, I overcame nearly a decade of severe depression and a lifetime of narcissism through an unconventional path of independent self-healing, ultimately achieving self-mastery in just 3 years. That may be hard to believe, but ordinary people are capable of confronting their fears and transforming the worst thing that happened to them into something extraordinary.
Thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully respond to my comment. Yes, the field of psychology has blind spots, but I don’t agree that keeping people trapped in their trauma is one of them. I think social media wins that award. Long gone are the days of practicing psychoanalysis, and spending 20 years in therapy. Every science has blind spots - but I’m not sure that’s due to the rigidity of the actual field or the people working in that field.
Yes, people are turning towards alternative ways of healing - or complimentary, however you want to label it. And yes, sometimes that is because they feel like something is missing from their work with a therapist. I don’t blame social media for people searching elsewhere for mental health support. But also, isn’t that what social media does? Sell us what we are missing? Both can be true - people are dissatisfied and looking elsewhere and also there is this giant app designed to keep us in it, addicted, scrolling and that figures out what we want to read about and feeds it to us. It’s hard not to think that also has an impact on people’s perceptions and habits and choices.
I’m not sure what you mean by expertise in its current form? I 100% agree that people can heal through all different modalities. I have clients who have used yoga and meditation as tools for trauma recovery with great success. I think healing and recovering is personal and I don’t dismiss alternative forms of healing as harmful - unless they actually cause harm.
Again, the goal of therapy is never dependence. So I’m not sure where you are getting the idea that psychology and therapists breed dependence in their clients. That’s literally the opposite of how we are trained. We want our clients to get better so they can go lead happy fulfilled lives and we can move on to help others. It may be that there are therapists out there who do that- facilitate dependence. But, I find the self-help/influencer world far more saturated with “gurus” who convince you that you need them, or their class, or their practice in order to heal. And no good therapist will tell you that you need them to heal. Because that’s disempowering and manipulative.
I think it is great that you found your way through to a more joyful and peaceful way of living. And yes, I believe that ordinary people are capable of confronting their fears and transforming the worst thing that happened to them into something they can make peace with and move forward from with grace, strength and resilience. I watch them do it every day in my office. To be clear, they do it. I don’t.
This is an interesting conversation and I’m grateful for your critical thinking.
Social media plays a huge role in shaping mental health conversations, often in misleading ways. But what if this stems from an incomplete vision of traditional psychology due to its own blind spots? No ethical therapist wants to keep clients stuck, yet many people spend decades in therapy without real change—not because their therapist is ineffective, but because institutional frameworks are often built for stability rather than deep transformation. Worse, the way the system is set up can sometimes enable bad actors to abuse their authority, keeping clients in dependency rather than guiding them to true healing.
If so many people are seeking healing outside therapy, how might we uncover what they feel is missing? The question isn’t whether therapy is good or bad—it’s whether it’s complete. And if psychology, like any system, has blind spots, how might we evolve its frameworks to remove barriers to true growth and prevent the misuse of authority?
I guess the issue here is that I disagree that the framework for psychology is built on stability rather than deep transformational change. I think it offers both. And it’s up to the client. With that said, I also think ignoring the role of the body and its connection to mental health has been a glaring mistake in the field of psych. I’m glad it’s catching up.
I think that most systems that are set up to help people are at risk of harboring bad actors who abuse their authority. In psych there are clear paths to addressing this abuse most of the time. This is not true for people who work in the coaching world/yoga world/other alt healing spheres.
Again, I think your questions are interesting but I don’t understand what you mean by true growth? I see growth happen every day in my work. What barriers do you think are in place? Barriers to theory that would lead to different interventions? How have you seen authority misused? I have seen it misused quite a bit in my field, but as a function of bad actors. I think this is true in any helping profession. I guess I’m asking you - what would you change? Add? Take away?
Hmm all good thoughts. I hear you and this may ultimately come down to having different experiences.
I would love to see the field shift from just managing symptoms to focusing on holistic growth—helping people not just heal, but transcend their challenges and grow into their full potential. This means integrating mind-body practices, philosophy, and self-mastery tools to move from survival to thriving.
My experience has been shaped by therapists who focused on mirroring my trauma, validating my emotions or giving lifestyle advice, but I believe that approach missed the mark. None of the therapists I saw offered a philosophical framework as a viable solution. I had to teach myself these concepts, often facing dismissal as if those ideas were “dangerous.” Yet, it was through a deep philosophical analysis of my mind that I was able to climb out of the trenches, truly heal and master my ego in a way that makes it my close confidant and not my enemy.
I’ve spoken to a lot of people who go to therapy or work in the field and most either have a limited understanding of the nature of philosophy or they outright refuse to engage with it because of their ideology or out of stigma.
In my view, modern therapy often reinforces a a fixed mindset and a victim mentality. The cultural shift we need should be about aligning with universal truths and connecting to something greater than ourselves. Rather than just managing pain with temporary fixes, we should encourage people to explore their shadow selves—to embrace uncertainty and, in doing so, discover their true purpose and unlock their full potential.
By combining philosophical and transformative practices with traditional psychology, we can help people not only heal but thrive, living in harmony with both their inner selves and the world around them.
Damn Doc 💪🏼. To begin with those three names mentioned in the original piece more than likely went to their grave with their traumas. We were not around them to know what their life was like after they publicly spoke or wrote something. Frankl did go into that camp with his training. His observations and ability to apply his education is what draws us to his books
As for the Instagram influencers, I follow Teal Swan SPECIFICALLY because she is crazy ! I believe Hulu said, “let’s rub her ego so we can get cameras inside her compound.” Her camp/compound is in Costs Rica for a reason. The Jim Jones Koolaid flavor can be served when the police get close! She posted not to long ago that she was looking for a mate 😳. She been married 5x
As for therapy itself, patients will become dependent on their own. They have to understand the therapist cannot make decisions for them. They are human and flawed as we all are, see the HBO series In Treatment for best example
Finally, I have been told by people in the field the real money makers in are the ones with a script pad. Patients show for their pills but ditch therapy
Thank you for writing the piece 🙏🏼. I enjoyed the read and thinking
Claire, so happy you posted here. Some people don't get it and never will. You are not one of those people. I will acknowledge that some people wear a badge but most of us are trying to heal. Thank goodness for my mental health team and professionals like you that understand. They saved my live!
This post was upsetting to me...just pull yourself up by your boot straps...yah, right.
There’s a bit more to it here than that. If one transitions from a victim to a survivor mentality, it does not dismiss or invalidate one’s suffering. This shift empowers people to see their circumstances as changeable, fostering a sense of agency over their lives.
I personally endured severe depression for eight years. Through a combination of therapy, support, and personal resilience, I found my way out of that darkness. I share my insights to offer hope to others in similar situations, demonstrating that recovery is possible.
Many have navigated the challenging path from victimhood to empowerment. For instance, Kara Robinson Chamberlain, who survived a kidnapping and assault at 15, now uses her experience to inspire others, emphasizing that such experiences don’t define one’s entire life. 
Shifting from a victim to a survivor mentality involves acknowledging your feelings, changing negative self-talk, and embracing personal responsibility. This transformation goes from helplessness to regaining control over their mental and emotional well-being, fostering empowerment and resilience. 
The key here is that past experiences shape us, but you have all the power to define your own future. Embracing a survivor mentality opens the door to healing and personal growth and I am showing people how to do that. Hope that clears things up!
Eckhart Tolle addresses this concept, explaining that the ego often seeks to define itself through narratives, including those of victimhood. By identifying as a victim, the ego reinforces its existence and maintains control over one’s self-concept. 
Deepak Chopra also notes that when the ego feels powerless and not in control, it adopts a victim mentality, leading to feelings of being manipulated and helpless. 
This alignment of the ego with a victim identity can result in egocentric behaviors which focuses predominantly on their own suffering and sabotaging their own healing, perpetually continuing the cycle of abuse whether to themselves or others.
By becoming aware of the ego’s attachment to victimhood, people can begin to disentangle their self-identity from this narrative, fostering a more balanced and empowered sense of self rooted in love and wonder.
I guess with any Industry there will always be abuses of systems for gains. And psychology is no different. It does depend on where are you from though. In the UK we have private as well as taxpayer funded mental health service, which is far from perfect or even ideal for a lot of people, but it does a good job nonetheless and is focused on getting people better. Failing to differentiate between psychologists, psychotherapists, counsellors in public and private will mean people may feel less inclined to reach out to get help which could potentially benefit them greatly because they think everyone is out to keep them trapped in this loop.
I would agree though that not everyone who experiences trauma or adversity necessarily needs to see a therapist and like you highlighted many people took their adversity in their stride. I used to think in the way of "everyone should have therapy" but not I don't anymore.
I do think trauma has become a buzzword and unfortunately some therapists like myself and others also have to work with this belief and expectation that people come in with. It's not their fault, but sometimes it hard to let go of the pain, especially when you only have a certain amount of time in sessions. Interesting article though!
When I was younger, I paid several psychologists and psychiatrists high hourly rates to help me with my depression, anxiety, and lack of confidence. What I learned was that therapists in real life aren't like their fictional counterparts in movies. They don't listen carefully, offering insight and advice that never would have occurred to you without their help. They just sit there and look at you. When they do speak, it's usually just lame platitudes that you could have got off an inspirational wall poster with a picture of a seagull or a kitten. It's a giant scam.
You live in a state of trauma as you are mentally hooked into the past. Even the past of a few seconds or minutes ago. That is the false self trying to make itself feel real by keeping a constant connection to the past as if it was real. It never can be.
The true self lives in the moment with no past and no future. It can not live in the future and can rely on past experiences so as to live in a practical manner. All those bad things that have happened in the past are dead and gone. Your pain comes from hanging on to them as if they are still real. You are a vessel of "if onlys" and "what ifs".
There is no one that can tell you who you are. Forget what others think and even the experts all have ulterior motives because they too live in the past. There is NO reason you cannot let the past go instantly and working through things keeps you hooked into the pain longer than you need to.
The J. D. Vance story is a kick in the balls to the “Therapy” industry. Instead of living on a psychologist’s couch for his entire life talking about his shitty childhood, he wrote a book about it and moved on with life in a spectacular fashion.
I have been loving the “system”. I need the mirroring, the stable weekly. I like understanding my criteria. Plus, alternative anything goes. Retreats, Breathwork, healers, coaching and all. I am grateful for it all. I don’t think a single convo was a waste. I outgrew my therapists, moved on, found a new one. Many times over.
My wife. Doesn’t like the weekly.
Doesn’t like the hook.
Doesn’t need the verbal dialogue. Annoyed by “aha”. Here and there a convo, yes. But very opposite to my healing journey.
We both grow. We both transformed. We still are. In our own way.
Talking to myself here:
Easy to hate on systems.
Beautiful when I take responsibility.
Good therapist, like in any profession, are self made. Not their schooling. Same with Drs unfortunately. (Crazy story with our 7 year old at a neurologist the other week).
It’s important to honor the individual for even going to therapy AND introduce to more. What else worked for you?!
That’s great! Not all therapists are bad—some are really good, and it sounds like you’ve had a few who genuinely cared. I’m not trying to say therapy itself is good or bad, or that seeing a therapist is right or wrong. It’s more about whether the system as a whole is actually complete.
A lot of the research and funding tends to go toward approaches that fit within a specific framework—usually the ones that are easiest to measure and sell. Because of that, deeper existential struggles often don’t get the attention they deserve, leaving people stuck in a perpetual feedback loop when they really need something more.
I ended up developing my own philosophy and was able to transcend my ego in just three years. Now, I’m 100% healed from my past trauma—something I wouldn’t have accomplished through traditional therapy. Looking at my own experience, I started questioning why some people see the same therapist for decades without real transformation. That led me down a rabbit hole, trying to understand why therapy isn’t focused on ego transcendence as the ultimate goal and more centered on symptom management.
This extends into the spiritual community as well. Driven by spiritual healers, mentors and coaches that keep you in the loop of there is more trauma to heal. It keeps the perpetual money train flowing to sell even more courses, mentorship’s, certifications and programs!
Yeah, I figured Abigail Shrier would touch on similar themes. For nearly a decade, I was trapped in severe depression, caught in endless ego-driven feedback loops. What finally pulled me out was a deep, intense journey toward mastering my own mind, which had little to do with the methods of modern psychology.
That makes sense. I read it because I'm trying to understand why friends think it's okay to communicate with me using therapeutic language. I've had friends of 15 years talk to me like they rehearsed the convo with their therapists. Very cold, calculated, kind of creepy.
Have you heard of Rene Girard’s Mimetic Theory? I’m not sure if she covers it in her book, but it explains how people imitate others—especially those they perceive as authorities—because they desire the same status and recognition, even if that pursuit goes against their true nature (as Carl Jung would describe it).
I get your point but maybe you’ve been seeing the wrong shrinks? Any therapist who is not trying to work their way out of a job by empowering people - they’re the problem. Please don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater by demonizing a whole profession.
OK, but I think there's a line between 10 sessions of 'Let's talk about your rotten tooth' without removing it, and 'Let's pretend your tooth a.) isn't rotten and b.) is making you stronger'. I agree the ultimate goal should be to remove the rotten tooth and not spend ages talking about it and sticking your tongue in the cavity to retraumatize yourself, but in order to remove the rotten tooth we have to acknowledge that it's there, that it hurts and is a problem, and THEN set about removing it. The thing is, toxic mental nonsense isn't as easy to recognise as a rotten tooth. Trauma definitely doesn't make you stronger or add to your life in any way, neither does endlessly talking about it or victimizing yourself with it, but it DOES need to be acknowledged as the problem that it is, and we do need to learn how to soften around it and get intelligent with it BEFORE unpicking it and getting it out. 'Rah rah toughen up' or 'Rah rah let's just get over this' believe me is a mindset all of us get daily from everywhere, we don't need to be advised to follow that line when it's literally everyone's go-to. There's a happy medium, but that happy medium requires great intelligence and skill and it's going to be different for every patient, something your average therapist just isn't skilled enough (or let's face it, incentivised enough, as you point out) to do
I see your point and I think we mostly agree. Ignoring trauma doesn’t help, but neither does getting stuck in it. Trauma itself doesn’t automatically make you stronger, but learning how to move through it does. There’s real research behind post-traumatic growth, and plenty of thinkers—Nietzsche, Jung and others—have talked about how struggle, when processed the right way, can lead to wisdom and resilience.
And while some cultures push the “just get over it” mindset, others push the opposite—an obsession with fragility, victimhood, and avoiding discomfort. Neither extreme leads to real healing. The real issue isn’t whether we acknowledge trauma—it’s that we either get lost in it or avoid dealing with it in a way that leads to actual growth. The key is finding the balance.
I think that's a great, nuanced view :-)
I have a personal allergy to the 'trauma makes you stronger' narrative even to the point of arguing that even processing it doesn't - my mantra's always been, I was *already* strong or I probably wasn't getting out of there alive - generally because I think appreciating suffering in any way or attributing anything to it is an undeniable request for more of it! Plus I don't think the people or events which traumatized us deserve any credit whatsoever, let alone for the power and resiliance that is fruit only of our own inherent greatness, and our good choices. But I can sort of get on board with the fact that learning the skills to process trauma...enhances your skills to process things generally, so we can agree there.
The distinction between discomfort, chosen/not chosen suffering and trauma matters.
I think or at least assume that everyone here knows that trauma implies something that has a lasting impact on your life, for example the events that leave you waking up in a cold sweat for years and severely impact your mental health, functioning, ability to make good choices and even your physical health. And I think *all* suffering has an element of choice to it, even if miniscule; that's the whole reason why trauma can be elaborated and released, by reclaiming and remaking those choices down one pathway instead of another. That element of choice is the locus of the possibility of healing, and it exists in every event and situation, everywhere
Somatic trauma therapist here. No therapist in the US who takes your insurance is profiting off of you. They are lucky if they can make a living. The ones who do have a full caseload of cash pay clients are not getting rich off of their clients unless they are charging some astronomical fee like 500 an hour. Comparing therapists to self help influencers is a false equivalency. The whole Instagram mental health industrial complex is not the same beast as traditional mental health. Both have their issues, but conflating them is useless. Diagnosing is not the same as treating, it is not a label, it does not define a person, and you use diagnoses primarily to make a treatment plan. You revise your plans and goals regularly with your client. You absolutely need your trauma validated in the beginning. Many people who develop PTSD were alone or felt alone when the overwhelming thing happened to them. Many of them don’t believe they should feel the way they feel, or that something is wrong with them. Healing trauma isn’t an intellectual exercise. You need mind body interventions because part of trauma IS chronic nervous system dysregulation and you can’t talk your way out of that. A therapist who “wants to keep you stuck in your trauma” is either incredibly unskilled or a sadist. Your job, as a therapist, is to set treatment goals and meet those goals so the person can move through the world in a way that feels better to them. Your job, as a trauma therapist, is to empower your client to make meaning of their experiences and build strength and resilience. But you are never going to tell someone who suffered chronic sexual abuse as a child that their abuse “made them stronger” or tell them they are “transformed”. Those are not helpful statements and they suggest that perhaps the abuse they suffered was a good thing. Yes, there are some inspirational figures who have overcome incredible pain, oppression and trauma in their lives without any therapy, like the ones named in this article. But for the people who can’t do it on their own, holding up these figure as examples is not helpful and adds to the feeling that there is something “wrong” with them.
I do not like the ways in which social media is shaping how people self diagnose, perseverate on what is “wrong” with themselves or others, throw labels around that they misunderstand and misuse. I don’t think it’s helpful to constantly be consuming one minute reels about attachment disorders, or trauma, or depression - all of which are complex issues that get watered down with zero nuance on social media. But it’s ironic to me that this author is asserting that you don’t need an expert, while arguing that it’s those experts who are trying to keep you trapped in your pain, while using social media as proof of this phenomenon. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to debunk some mental health snippet a client saw on TikTok and tell them why it doesn’t apply to them or why it’s just completely untrue. To me, the culture of “self healing” which is usually headed up by some cult like figure, and Instagram mental health influencing, is far more damaging to people than a therapist who has invested significant time, resources and energy into their profession, and who is held accountable by their peers, their licensing boards, state laws and their clinical supervisors to behave in ethical and safe ways. That doesn’t mean there aren’t shitty therapists - there are. But to assert that the issue is “expertise” that’s forcing people to stay stuck in their trauma is misguided. It’s actually the death of expertise and the rise of simplistic thinking and platitudes that is keeping people stuck. You know. Telling people who are suffering with their mental health to heal, build, create and conquer. That’s like telling someone with a broken leg to just go run a marathon.
I appreciate your perspective and I think we actually agree on more than it might seem at first glance. I completely understand the concern about social media distorting complex mental health issues, leading to misdiagnoses and shallow solutions. That’s a real problem and I respect the work therapists do to help people navigate trauma in ethical and evidence-based ways.
That said, I think the deeper conversation here is about whether institutionalized psychology, as it stands, has systemic blind spots that contribute to people feeling stuck. The idea that some therapists may, consciously or not, reinforce cycles of trauma isn’t an attack on expertise itself—it’s a recognition that any field, no matter how regulated, can develop blind spots when its framework becomes rigid. The fact that people are turning to self-healing movements in large numbers suggests that something is missing from traditional approaches, not just that they’re being misled by influencers.
Also, I think it’s important to question whether expertise in its current form always serves the best interests of the individual. You mentioned that healing isn’t just an intellectual exercise, but if that’s the case, then isn’t it possible that some people might naturally find their own paths to healing without needing an expert to validate it? And if someone does reach a place of strength through self-healing, why dismiss that as potentially harmful rather than seeing it as evidence that alternative approaches have value?
I’m not saying all therapists are keeping people stuck, but I think it’s worth questioning whether the system as a whole has unintentionally created dependencies rather than empowerment. And if so, what can be done to address that?
Speaking from my own experience, I overcame nearly a decade of severe depression and a lifetime of narcissism through an unconventional path of independent self-healing, ultimately achieving self-mastery in just 3 years. That may be hard to believe, but ordinary people are capable of confronting their fears and transforming the worst thing that happened to them into something extraordinary.
Thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully respond to my comment. Yes, the field of psychology has blind spots, but I don’t agree that keeping people trapped in their trauma is one of them. I think social media wins that award. Long gone are the days of practicing psychoanalysis, and spending 20 years in therapy. Every science has blind spots - but I’m not sure that’s due to the rigidity of the actual field or the people working in that field.
Yes, people are turning towards alternative ways of healing - or complimentary, however you want to label it. And yes, sometimes that is because they feel like something is missing from their work with a therapist. I don’t blame social media for people searching elsewhere for mental health support. But also, isn’t that what social media does? Sell us what we are missing? Both can be true - people are dissatisfied and looking elsewhere and also there is this giant app designed to keep us in it, addicted, scrolling and that figures out what we want to read about and feeds it to us. It’s hard not to think that also has an impact on people’s perceptions and habits and choices.
I’m not sure what you mean by expertise in its current form? I 100% agree that people can heal through all different modalities. I have clients who have used yoga and meditation as tools for trauma recovery with great success. I think healing and recovering is personal and I don’t dismiss alternative forms of healing as harmful - unless they actually cause harm.
Again, the goal of therapy is never dependence. So I’m not sure where you are getting the idea that psychology and therapists breed dependence in their clients. That’s literally the opposite of how we are trained. We want our clients to get better so they can go lead happy fulfilled lives and we can move on to help others. It may be that there are therapists out there who do that- facilitate dependence. But, I find the self-help/influencer world far more saturated with “gurus” who convince you that you need them, or their class, or their practice in order to heal. And no good therapist will tell you that you need them to heal. Because that’s disempowering and manipulative.
I think it is great that you found your way through to a more joyful and peaceful way of living. And yes, I believe that ordinary people are capable of confronting their fears and transforming the worst thing that happened to them into something they can make peace with and move forward from with grace, strength and resilience. I watch them do it every day in my office. To be clear, they do it. I don’t.
This is an interesting conversation and I’m grateful for your critical thinking.
Social media plays a huge role in shaping mental health conversations, often in misleading ways. But what if this stems from an incomplete vision of traditional psychology due to its own blind spots? No ethical therapist wants to keep clients stuck, yet many people spend decades in therapy without real change—not because their therapist is ineffective, but because institutional frameworks are often built for stability rather than deep transformation. Worse, the way the system is set up can sometimes enable bad actors to abuse their authority, keeping clients in dependency rather than guiding them to true healing.
If so many people are seeking healing outside therapy, how might we uncover what they feel is missing? The question isn’t whether therapy is good or bad—it’s whether it’s complete. And if psychology, like any system, has blind spots, how might we evolve its frameworks to remove barriers to true growth and prevent the misuse of authority?
I guess the issue here is that I disagree that the framework for psychology is built on stability rather than deep transformational change. I think it offers both. And it’s up to the client. With that said, I also think ignoring the role of the body and its connection to mental health has been a glaring mistake in the field of psych. I’m glad it’s catching up.
I think that most systems that are set up to help people are at risk of harboring bad actors who abuse their authority. In psych there are clear paths to addressing this abuse most of the time. This is not true for people who work in the coaching world/yoga world/other alt healing spheres.
Again, I think your questions are interesting but I don’t understand what you mean by true growth? I see growth happen every day in my work. What barriers do you think are in place? Barriers to theory that would lead to different interventions? How have you seen authority misused? I have seen it misused quite a bit in my field, but as a function of bad actors. I think this is true in any helping profession. I guess I’m asking you - what would you change? Add? Take away?
Hmm all good thoughts. I hear you and this may ultimately come down to having different experiences.
I would love to see the field shift from just managing symptoms to focusing on holistic growth—helping people not just heal, but transcend their challenges and grow into their full potential. This means integrating mind-body practices, philosophy, and self-mastery tools to move from survival to thriving.
My experience has been shaped by therapists who focused on mirroring my trauma, validating my emotions or giving lifestyle advice, but I believe that approach missed the mark. None of the therapists I saw offered a philosophical framework as a viable solution. I had to teach myself these concepts, often facing dismissal as if those ideas were “dangerous.” Yet, it was through a deep philosophical analysis of my mind that I was able to climb out of the trenches, truly heal and master my ego in a way that makes it my close confidant and not my enemy.
I’ve spoken to a lot of people who go to therapy or work in the field and most either have a limited understanding of the nature of philosophy or they outright refuse to engage with it because of their ideology or out of stigma.
In my view, modern therapy often reinforces a a fixed mindset and a victim mentality. The cultural shift we need should be about aligning with universal truths and connecting to something greater than ourselves. Rather than just managing pain with temporary fixes, we should encourage people to explore their shadow selves—to embrace uncertainty and, in doing so, discover their true purpose and unlock their full potential.
By combining philosophical and transformative practices with traditional psychology, we can help people not only heal but thrive, living in harmony with both their inner selves and the world around them.
Damn Doc 💪🏼. To begin with those three names mentioned in the original piece more than likely went to their grave with their traumas. We were not around them to know what their life was like after they publicly spoke or wrote something. Frankl did go into that camp with his training. His observations and ability to apply his education is what draws us to his books
As for the Instagram influencers, I follow Teal Swan SPECIFICALLY because she is crazy ! I believe Hulu said, “let’s rub her ego so we can get cameras inside her compound.” Her camp/compound is in Costs Rica for a reason. The Jim Jones Koolaid flavor can be served when the police get close! She posted not to long ago that she was looking for a mate 😳. She been married 5x
As for therapy itself, patients will become dependent on their own. They have to understand the therapist cannot make decisions for them. They are human and flawed as we all are, see the HBO series In Treatment for best example
Finally, I have been told by people in the field the real money makers in are the ones with a script pad. Patients show for their pills but ditch therapy
Thank you for writing the piece 🙏🏼. I enjoyed the read and thinking
Claire, so happy you posted here. Some people don't get it and never will. You are not one of those people. I will acknowledge that some people wear a badge but most of us are trying to heal. Thank goodness for my mental health team and professionals like you that understand. They saved my live!
This post was upsetting to me...just pull yourself up by your boot straps...yah, right.
There’s a bit more to it here than that. If one transitions from a victim to a survivor mentality, it does not dismiss or invalidate one’s suffering. This shift empowers people to see their circumstances as changeable, fostering a sense of agency over their lives.
I personally endured severe depression for eight years. Through a combination of therapy, support, and personal resilience, I found my way out of that darkness. I share my insights to offer hope to others in similar situations, demonstrating that recovery is possible.
Many have navigated the challenging path from victimhood to empowerment. For instance, Kara Robinson Chamberlain, who survived a kidnapping and assault at 15, now uses her experience to inspire others, emphasizing that such experiences don’t define one’s entire life. 
Shifting from a victim to a survivor mentality involves acknowledging your feelings, changing negative self-talk, and embracing personal responsibility. This transformation goes from helplessness to regaining control over their mental and emotional well-being, fostering empowerment and resilience. 
The key here is that past experiences shape us, but you have all the power to define your own future. Embracing a survivor mentality opens the door to healing and personal growth and I am showing people how to do that. Hope that clears things up!
Eckhart Tolle addresses this concept, explaining that the ego often seeks to define itself through narratives, including those of victimhood. By identifying as a victim, the ego reinforces its existence and maintains control over one’s self-concept. 
Deepak Chopra also notes that when the ego feels powerless and not in control, it adopts a victim mentality, leading to feelings of being manipulated and helpless. 
This alignment of the ego with a victim identity can result in egocentric behaviors which focuses predominantly on their own suffering and sabotaging their own healing, perpetually continuing the cycle of abuse whether to themselves or others.
By becoming aware of the ego’s attachment to victimhood, people can begin to disentangle their self-identity from this narrative, fostering a more balanced and empowered sense of self rooted in love and wonder.
I guess with any Industry there will always be abuses of systems for gains. And psychology is no different. It does depend on where are you from though. In the UK we have private as well as taxpayer funded mental health service, which is far from perfect or even ideal for a lot of people, but it does a good job nonetheless and is focused on getting people better. Failing to differentiate between psychologists, psychotherapists, counsellors in public and private will mean people may feel less inclined to reach out to get help which could potentially benefit them greatly because they think everyone is out to keep them trapped in this loop.
I would agree though that not everyone who experiences trauma or adversity necessarily needs to see a therapist and like you highlighted many people took their adversity in their stride. I used to think in the way of "everyone should have therapy" but not I don't anymore.
I do think trauma has become a buzzword and unfortunately some therapists like myself and others also have to work with this belief and expectation that people come in with. It's not their fault, but sometimes it hard to let go of the pain, especially when you only have a certain amount of time in sessions. Interesting article though!
When I was younger, I paid several psychologists and psychiatrists high hourly rates to help me with my depression, anxiety, and lack of confidence. What I learned was that therapists in real life aren't like their fictional counterparts in movies. They don't listen carefully, offering insight and advice that never would have occurred to you without their help. They just sit there and look at you. When they do speak, it's usually just lame platitudes that you could have got off an inspirational wall poster with a picture of a seagull or a kitten. It's a giant scam.
You live in a state of trauma as you are mentally hooked into the past. Even the past of a few seconds or minutes ago. That is the false self trying to make itself feel real by keeping a constant connection to the past as if it was real. It never can be.
The true self lives in the moment with no past and no future. It can not live in the future and can rely on past experiences so as to live in a practical manner. All those bad things that have happened in the past are dead and gone. Your pain comes from hanging on to them as if they are still real. You are a vessel of "if onlys" and "what ifs".
There is no one that can tell you who you are. Forget what others think and even the experts all have ulterior motives because they too live in the past. There is NO reason you cannot let the past go instantly and working through things keeps you hooked into the pain longer than you need to.
The J. D. Vance story is a kick in the balls to the “Therapy” industry. Instead of living on a psychologist’s couch for his entire life talking about his shitty childhood, he wrote a book about it and moved on with life in a spectacular fashion.
I have been loving the “system”. I need the mirroring, the stable weekly. I like understanding my criteria. Plus, alternative anything goes. Retreats, Breathwork, healers, coaching and all. I am grateful for it all. I don’t think a single convo was a waste. I outgrew my therapists, moved on, found a new one. Many times over.
My wife. Doesn’t like the weekly.
Doesn’t like the hook.
Doesn’t need the verbal dialogue. Annoyed by “aha”. Here and there a convo, yes. But very opposite to my healing journey.
We both grow. We both transformed. We still are. In our own way.
Talking to myself here:
Easy to hate on systems.
Beautiful when I take responsibility.
Good therapist, like in any profession, are self made. Not their schooling. Same with Drs unfortunately. (Crazy story with our 7 year old at a neurologist the other week).
It’s important to honor the individual for even going to therapy AND introduce to more. What else worked for you?!
That’s great! Not all therapists are bad—some are really good, and it sounds like you’ve had a few who genuinely cared. I’m not trying to say therapy itself is good or bad, or that seeing a therapist is right or wrong. It’s more about whether the system as a whole is actually complete.
A lot of the research and funding tends to go toward approaches that fit within a specific framework—usually the ones that are easiest to measure and sell. Because of that, deeper existential struggles often don’t get the attention they deserve, leaving people stuck in a perpetual feedback loop when they really need something more.
I ended up developing my own philosophy and was able to transcend my ego in just three years. Now, I’m 100% healed from my past trauma—something I wouldn’t have accomplished through traditional therapy. Looking at my own experience, I started questioning why some people see the same therapist for decades without real transformation. That led me down a rabbit hole, trying to understand why therapy isn’t focused on ego transcendence as the ultimate goal and more centered on symptom management.
I love this! Thank you for writing about it. Totally feel the same.
This is fantastic!
This extends into the spiritual community as well. Driven by spiritual healers, mentors and coaches that keep you in the loop of there is more trauma to heal. It keeps the perpetual money train flowing to sell even more courses, mentorship’s, certifications and programs!
100%, thanks for this article
OMG how bloody true! The ‘patient’ loves to talk about themselves and what ever crap worries them and the ‘therapist’ laps it up
I'm almost finished reading Bad Therapy and while it's not focused on adult therapy...I'm connecting alot of dots 🧐
Yeah, I figured Abigail Shrier would touch on similar themes. For nearly a decade, I was trapped in severe depression, caught in endless ego-driven feedback loops. What finally pulled me out was a deep, intense journey toward mastering my own mind, which had little to do with the methods of modern psychology.
That makes sense. I read it because I'm trying to understand why friends think it's okay to communicate with me using therapeutic language. I've had friends of 15 years talk to me like they rehearsed the convo with their therapists. Very cold, calculated, kind of creepy.
Have you heard of Rene Girard’s Mimetic Theory? I’m not sure if she covers it in her book, but it explains how people imitate others—especially those they perceive as authorities—because they desire the same status and recognition, even if that pursuit goes against their true nature (as Carl Jung would describe it).
I haven't but I'm going to look into it. Thanks for sharing.
I get your point but maybe you’ve been seeing the wrong shrinks? Any therapist who is not trying to work their way out of a job by empowering people - they’re the problem. Please don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater by demonizing a whole profession.
How much trauma is generated by therapy?
I see this worship of the wound and weakness everywhere in modern fiction and criticism…